


Lie To Me

by ideservedit



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Cheating, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Love Confessions, M/M, Oblivious Harry, Self-Hatred, Swearing, lots of fluff tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-12-21 03:07:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11935035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ideservedit/pseuds/ideservedit
Summary: “Lie to me.”Louis had been expecting that line. It always came. Every time. So of course he was prepared to answer.Sometimes the answer would consist of something plain and simple like “I love you”, “We’re going to stay together forever” or some shit like that. But sometimes, if he was in a good mood, it would consist of something more creative and thought out like “Someday I’m going to propose to you and we’re going to get married in a little garden with white roses. Maybe have two or three children”. And when Louis was in a really good mood he would top the lie of with little kisses and whisper it in Harry’s ear.Harry would pretend to believe it even if just for the moment and kiss him back. Laugh the cute little laugh he had reserved specially for Louis.There had been a time when Louis had said those things just for Harry’s benefit, just so Harry would feel better about this thing they did, but it came to the point where he needed it for himself just as much as Harry did.orLouis is cheating on his girlfriend with Harry and it's hurting everyone involved, so he has to get his shit together.





	Lie To Me

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Lie To Me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2818259) by [louisgrindsonharry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/louisgrindsonharry/pseuds/louisgrindsonharry). 



“Lie to me.”

Louis had been expecting that line. It always came. Every time. So of course he was prepared to answer.

Sometimes the answer would consist of something plain and simple like “I love you” “We’re going to stay together forever” or some shit like that. But sometimes, if he was in a good mood, it would consist of something more creative and thought out like “Someday I’m going to propose to you and we’re going to get married in a little garden with white roses. Maybe have two or three children”. And when Louis was in a really good mood he would top the lie of with little kisses and whisper it in Harry’s ear.

Harry would pretend to believe it even if just for the moment and kiss him back. Laugh the cute little laugh he had reserved specially for Louis.

Even if he would never admit it Louis enjoyed these moments just as much as Harry did. Because seeing Harry smile like that, laugh like that, was the best thing that he could ever imagine.

There had been a time when Louis had said those things just for Harry’s benefit, just so Harry would feel better about this thing they did, but it came to the point where he needed it for himself just as much as Harry did.

This time the answer was: “I will never leave you.”

But it felt different. He didn’t say it in the cheery tone he usually would. He didn’t get up right after saying it to put on his clothes. No, he just lay there in silence next to Harry starring at the ceiling.

When he finally looked at Harry he saw the tears running down his cheeks. Without thinking about it he rolled onto his side and wrapped his arms around Harry’s body. With his face buried in his brown curls that reached his shoulder by now and Harry’s arm draped around his body holding him, he could feel the heat radiating off Harry’s skin like it always did after they had Sex.

Neither of the two men realized how long they were lying there just silently crying and holding on to each other until Louis’ phone buzzed.

With a groan he realized Harry from his grip who did the exact same thing and then reached over to grab his phone. Of course, it was Eleanor calling him probably wanting to remind him of something he didn’t want to do anyway.

Eleanor, the third best friend in the trio. Harry, Eleanor and Louis, that’s how it always had been. Since Louis was 16 years old. But then it had become EleanorandLouis and Harry. And now it was just EleanorandLouis and LouisandHarry. El and Harry almost never saw each other anymore.

With a sigh he answered the phone.

“Where the fuck are you, Louis? I’ve been waiting here for ten minutes and it’s cold. I can’t go in there without you, you know that.” Eleanor’s shrill annoyed voice was the first thing he heard.

Rolling his eyes he got up.

“What? You’re not even going to answer me now or what?” She asked. Now she sounded really pissed.

“I’m sorry, El. I was at Harry’s and I totally forgot the time. I’ll be right there, promise” he answered. The phone was now stuck between his shoulder and head while Louis desperately tried to put on his  black skinny jeans. It was harder than he anticipated. He had to sit down on the bed to get it done.

“… could say, you like Harry more than me” Louis had not been listening to most of what she said but when she said that he was all ears.

“He’s my best mate, El. It’s normal to spend time with your best mates.” He said while trying to ignore the little wince that came from said best mate. He failed. It still hurt.

Sometimes he wondered how he could do this.

Harry had been in love with Louis since he even knew what love was. The two boys had been spending all their time together when they were younger. Best mates. It didn’t matter that Louis was two years older than the curly haired boy. It was just that Harry wanted more and Louis didn’t. At least then. He had had a whole gay freak out when he had fantasized about kissing Harry for the first time.

Now he couldn’t believe he had ever been that stupid. How could he have ever freaked out about anything that had to do with Harry? Harry was the best thing that had ever happened to Louis and he knew it.

Just that now he may have ruined Harry too much. Did too much shit he could never take back. Said too many things he could never unsay. Told too many lies he could never untell.

He hurt Harry every time he came into his apartment. Every time he kissed him, fucked him, got fucked by him. But as much as it hurt the both of them they couldn’t seem to stop.

Sometimes Louis would try to tell himself that it wasn’t all his fault. That Harry could walk away any second if he wanted to. But he knew that wasn’t true. Harry could never say no Louis and they both knew it.

Like that time Louis had gotten Harry to break into the swimming pool with him and they got arrested for it. Harry had been complaining the whole time, telling Louis not to do it but he had never backed out. They did have some fun in there though. Not the sexual kind. Just the kind two best mates that kind of had a thing for each other would have.

Or the time they painted Harry’s whole room new and drawn some ridiculous stuff on the walls when his parents weren’t home for a few days. Harry hadn’t been allowed to hang out with Louis for three weeks after that. Of course neither of the boys managed to do that.

They never could stay away from each other for long.

Like now. Now Louis was lying to his girlfriend of three years. He had been lying to her from the start.

In the beginning it had just been a couple of hook ups, nothing serious, so Louis had thought it would stop when he started to seriously date El. It didn’t. It got worse.

And now here they were three years later hurting each other, lying to each other and everyone around them. But if he was honest he wouldn’t have it any way else. He didn’t think he could live without having Harry. But he couldn’t break up with El either.

He loved her. Maybe not in the way he should but he still loved her. He didn’t want to hurt her. And especially now when her Dad had died. He knew there was always a reason. Always something why he couldn’t break up with her and it sounded like excuses.

But the day he had realized how in love he was with Harry and how not in love he was with El and decided to break up with her, her father died. It was a heart attack.

When he had come home she had been sitting on the couch crying. Without a word he had hugged her and she told him what had happened. Louis hurt a lot of people, did a lot of cruel things, especially Harry, but breaking up with his girlfriend the time she needed him more than ever would not get added to that list. That had been 5 months ago.

He knew the excuse didn’t really count now anymore but it didn’t matter. It wasn’t like he had disappointed Harry. He hadn’t even told the younger man that he was going to break up with El let alone that he was in love with him. He was just a coward like that.

He knew he should go through with his original plan now but he didn’t know if he could. He couldn’t stand to hurt the pretty girl that he called his girlfriend.

The pretty girl that was currently giving him a lecture on punctuality while he was struggling to put his socks on.  When he was finally done he walked into the bathroom and quickly used a washcloth to wash his armpits. He also used a little of Harry’s deodorant and perfume. Now he could do nothing but hope he didn’t smell like Sex and sweat too much.

Because he had to go through the bedroom anyway to get to the door he used it as an excuse to lean over the bed and give Harry a quick kiss on the lips. He allowed himself to stay still for just a few seconds. Just enough to see the hurt in Harry’s green eyes. Then he quickly rushed out the door. Eleanor still on the phone rambling about something.

He had to smile a little. She could do that. Talk about something for hours, no matter what. That was one of the things he loved about her so much. Whenever he needed to be cheered up or just distracted she would just go on about something unimportant for hours. It always made him laugh to see how invested in the story she could get.

On the way to the restaurant he was supposed to meet El in front of 18 minutes ago, he tried to fix his hair as much as possible. It didn’t even look too bad as far as he could tell from the looks in the windows of shops at least.

When he arrived in front of the restaurant he spotted El. She was still talking about something. God, this woman was amazing.

Grinning Louis hung up and snuck up on her from behind. She let out a loud squeak when he started to tickle her. Laughing she turned around.

“How long where you not on the phone for anymore?” she asked with a confused look at her phone.

Louis pretended to think about it “Hmm… About 30 Minutes maybe.”  He laughed.

She went through his hair a few times while shaking her head grinning and then took his hand in her smaller one. They walked into the restaurant together.

 

***

 

“No way. She did not say that” Louis still couldn’t stop laughing. Couldn’t since El told him that her new boss had asked if El would mind if she hooked up with Louis.

“I can’t believe you are going to work for people like that” He managed to get out between two laugh waves.

El was just laughing quietly in the driver’s seat occasionally looking over to Louis who had calmed down a little by now.

“So would you mind? If I hooked up with her I mean” Louis grinned sheepishly while getting out of the car. El rolled her eyes at him. She already knew how ridiculous he was.

“She does look pretty good for a…” he stopped for a second “60 year old?” He asked, unsure how old she even was.

Laughing the brunette punched him in the arm while they walked inside the building that their flat was in.

They had been at dinner with El’s new bosses. She had started to work for a big fashion designer. Becoming one herself was her dream since she was 13 years old.

On the way up the stairs, the elevator in their building hadn’t worked in all the time they lived there, El just asked a simple:

“TV or Sex?”

Which of course Louis answered with a just as simple “TV”.

They had been doing this for a while now. Not really having Sex. Louis didn’t even remember the last time they did it. But, and Louis really didn’t get how or why, neither of them seemed to mind. They still got along just fine. Of course they fought sometimes, but what healthy couple didn’t.

It felt different than at the beginning of their relationship though. Because Louis still believed they had been in love in the beginning. At least he had thought he was and that counted just as much for him. But now it felt like they were just back to being best mates again.

Of course there were still the occasional kisses, but they lacked passion, and the cuddling, an act he did with a lot of his mates too, and the flirtatious comments, but those were just out of old habit.

So the couple just changed into sweats and flopped down on the sofa to watch Iron Man for the 100th time. Another thing Louis loved about El. They could watch the same movies over and over again and still have fun doing it.

El fell asleep during the second movie and when it finished Louis thought about trying to carry her to their bedroom. He quickly dismissed the idea though when he thought about how he had banged her head against the door and then dropped her last time he tried. She had been complaining about her head for weeks after that. Even though Louis thought it was just to annoy him after about three days, he didn’t want to risk it.

So he just lay her down and pulled a blanket over her body. With one small kiss to her forehead he walked into their normally shared bedroom. Luckily he had brushed his teeth before the movie so he could just fall into bed. He couldn’t go to bed without brushing his teeth, even though he personally didn’t really mind, Harry was always scolding him for it. So no, Louis wasn’t going to risk having Harry’s voice in his head until he would fall asleep. He had that enough nights already. Something was always there to remind him of the green eyed man. Sometimes it wasn’t even anything. Sometimes it just kinda happened without Louis’ permission.

But of course his stupid fucking brain wouldn’t let him sleep right away. Of course beautiful green eyes so full of hurt and unconditional love popped into his head and he couldn’t get them out. He could never get Harry out of his head.

Except for sometimes when he was with El or other mates of his. It wasn’t because he was still in love with El and could forget about Harry because of that. It was because he loved her and she was still his best friend. Still the one who could always make him laugh.

Harry used to be that person. Actually no, Harry was still that person. Could still make him forget about every problem he ever had. Could still make him forget about himself. But when Harry wasn’t there sometimes it got bad. Really bad. Sometime it felt like he couldn’t even move. Couldn’t take away his arms that where hugging himself or he might just fall apart.

He hated feeling that way. But it was nothing against how good he felt when he was with Harry. Not only physically, even though that was a given, but also emotionally. Harry made him feel so good. So he guessed it was okay to feel like shit sometimes if he got to feel that good at other times.

He fell asleep with Harry’s name on his lips.

 

The next morning Louis was woken up by a bouncy and giddy El.

“L, wake up. I made you breakfast.”

When he opened his eyes the first thing he saw was a grinning Eleanor standing over him.

“What has got you in such a great mood?” he laughed still not quite awake.

“Since when does a girl need a reason to be happy?” She laughed. He just gave her with a look that said don’t-even-try-to-fool-me-I-know-you-better-than-that until she caved.

“Okay so…” she paused, thinking about how to say it. “You remember my friend Max?”

Louis needed a moment to think about it because his brain was still a little fuzzy with sleep.

“Oh yeah, the one that went on a backpack trip to Spain?” he said after he had oriented himself a bit.

“Yeah, exactly.” She exclaimed. “Well, I haven’t seen him in 3 weeks now, but he’s coming home early.” She grinned.

Louis gave her a warm smile. He was happy for her. He never really talked to Max a lot, but he knew he was El very dear, so of course he was happy for her.

“That’s great, El.” he grinned while getting up. “What are you even still doing here then?” He asked when he noticed how much she wanted to go right now. She was already wearing her shoes.

She still hesitated a little.

“Go, meet the lad!” He exclaimed which finally made her move. Smiling brightly she gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks, L.” She murmured.

“Oh, by the way, Harry texted you asking if he could come over. I told him he could, so he’ll probably be here any minute.” She shouted while already walking out the door.

It wasn’t weird for them to just answer each other’s phone calls or texts. Of course El told Harry to come over, she knew Louis always wanted Harry to be there. He would never say no to seeing Harry unless he had to, El knew him well enough to figure that out. He had to smile a little at that. How could this girl, this beautiful amazing girl love someone like Louis.

Louis didn’t understand that. He had these two perfect people loving him, wanting to be with him, even though that could be debated on Eleanor’s side right now, and he didn’t know how he deserved something that great. Actually no, he knew he didn’t deserve it at all, because he was just going to hurt them both. He already did.

Just as he was on the way to the kitchen he heard the door opening. And there stood Harry. Of fucking course, looking beautiful even at this early hour (Yes, 10 am on a Saturday was early).

“El’s already out.” Louis said before Harry was even able to get a word out, because of course he knew what Harry was going to ask.

A little smile spread over the green eyed man’s face at that and he walked over to give Louis a kiss. It didn’t last long or was especially passionate. Louis didn’t even want it to because he still hadn’t brushed his teeth, he knew Harry wouldn’t mind but that didn’t mean he had to do that to him. But it made Louis feel all giddy and happy inside.

Harry always seemed to have that effect on him.

He felt just the way El had looked this morning. That made him freeze for a second. Did she..? Was she in love with Max? That would be a good thing, right? All he wanted for her was to be happy.

Harry and Louis ate the breakfast El had prepared for them, Bacon and scrambled eggs, together. At least half of it had to land somewhere on the floor though: Because ten minutes into the meal Louis had started to throw little bacon pieces in Harry’s curls which had escalated into a food war.

Now Louis was sitting on the sofa laughing while watching as Harry tried to find all the food pieces they had thrown. Louis had said he would do it later but of course Harry being Harry had to do it now (“You’re not going to do it anyway, Lou. And then El will have to do it” Harry wasn’t wrong with that statement.).

They spent the rest of the day inside. Kissing and cuddling because they knew El wasn’t going to be home for a long time. Maybe she would even stay out for the night.

They were just in the middle of a tickle war when Harry suddenly said “Lie to me.”

Louis stopped and frowned. “You’re not leaving yet, are you?” he asked. He tried to keep the disappointment out of his voice. And failed miserably.

Harry shook his head, no. Good.

Louis hadn’t thought of a lie for today, so he had to think about it for a minute.

The only things he could come up with were thing like “I don’t love you” or “I wanna leave you” and those were not the kind of lies the blue eyed man told Harry.

He told Harry the kind of lies that he wanted to be true or that were actually true. He just made Harry believe they were lies. And he always had so many of those to tell. He had so many things he wanted to tell Harry, to promise Harry, and the only time he allowed himself to say them was when Harry thought he was lying.

But he couldn’t do that right now. Couldn’t stand the hurt in Harry’s eyes after the bliss of believing it for a few minutes.

“I’m still in love with El.” he finally said.

Harry froze. And there was the hurt. But, no, this was wrong. He said something good. Why did Harry look hurt? Why would he still be hurt? This wasn’t right.

“Why would you do that to me, Lou?” He sounded so vulnerable. Louis just couldn’t take it.

“Why would you give me hope?” Harry asked again. Louis wanted to cry. Harry thought he was lying. Well, lying in the lie. However you want to say it.

He wanted to cry. The one time he wanted to not make Harry feel like shit he made it even worse. So stupid. He was so, so stupid. Before he even thought about it he was already rambling.

“No, Harry, I’m telling the truth. Well, not the truth. I mean the truth is I’m not in love with her anymore. The lie is that I still am. I swear. I wouldn’t do that. I know, I hurt you. I know, I’ve fucked up really bad a lot of times, but I’m trying to do something right here, okay?” And so what maybe he was holding back a few tears.

Harry sat up straight on the sofa at hearing those words. “So you’re not in love with her anymore?” he asked hopeful. It was sad how hopeful he could get just because of those words. Louis had really fucked him up. But he was going to fix it. At least try. So he nodded.

“You want to hear another lie?” he asked. Harry nodded, looking at him with big eyes.

“I’m not in love with you”

If possible Harry’s eyes got even bigger. And they were filled with tears now.

And then his lips were on Louis’. The kiss was wet from both their tears but neither of them cared.

“I love you so much, Louis.” Harry murmured into his mouth between the kisses. “No more lies.”

“No more lies.” Louis repeated. “I’m so in love with you, Harry.”

Harry couldn’t stop smiling after that. Neither could Louis.

After kissing what felt like for hours they finally sat down to really talk.

“How long?” Was Harry’s first question. He didn’t have to elaborate, Louis understood.

“Umm… I’ve known for about five months now. But I was in love with you before that. Just didn’t notice it, I guess.” He said while looking down.

“Lou!” Harry exclaimed. He knew this would come. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Well, umm… You see… I wanted to break up with El first. And when I finally had the courage to do it her dad died add so I couldn’t. And then I was too scared. Too scared to hurt her. Too scared you wouldn’t want me anymore.” He finally confessed. He still hadn’t looked up yet and was playing with his hands nervously.

Harry took his face in both hands and forced Louis to look at him.

“I could never not want you.” He said sincere. Louis knew it was meant to make him feel better but it really didn’t. Harry still wanted him after everything he had done. After all the times he had hurt him.  But he didn’t say that. He gave Harry a little smile.

After a while sitting in silence Harry spoke up again.

“Why now?”

“I think… I think she might be in love with Max.” He started “You know, she got that look today when she told me she’d meet him. She looked the way I always feel when I see you.

“So, I figured it won’t hurt her as much now when I break up with her. We’re not even really in love anymore. We’re basically just best mates. You know, we haven’t fucked in forever.”

Then when he realized that might’ve been insensitive to Harry he quickly apologized. But Harry just shrugged it off.

“It’s okay, Lou.” He smiled. God, this man was an angel. Looked like one and acted like one too. What did Louis do to deserve his love?

“I’m going to break up with her tonight.” He said while resting his head in Harry’s lap.

Harry immediately started to comb his fingers through Louis’ unstyled hair.

“I like it best this way.” He said softly. “Without anything in it.”

Louis smiled at that. And if he thought about just leaving his hair without product every day then that was nobody’s business but his own.

They talked for a while after that. Saying all the things they never could or just never did. Louis told Harry about the guilt. Promised to make it up to him. Harry assured him it was going to be okay and that he forgave him. Telling him he would help him forgive himself someday- And Louis loved him even more for it.

That evening, Harry had left a few hours ago, so Louis could think for himself a little bit, Eleanor came home late. She looked freshly showered, her hair was still wet. So the chances of her and Max being together. But maybe it was just because Louis wanted it to be true so bad that he imagined things. How fucked up was that. He wanted his girlfriend to be cheating on him, to be in love with somebody else.

“TV?” El just asked when she came into the room. Louis groaned and got up off the bed while El took off her black skinny jeans. Maybe they were Louis’ though. They kind of looked like his. He noticed that her legs were shaved. She hadn’t shaved them in over a month now because the only person who even saw her legs right now was Louis. It was too cold to wear anything short yet even though it was already May. But that was London for you.

When the two of them were seated on the sofa there was a silence. And for the first time in really long it was a little uncomfortable.

“I think, we should break up.” Louis broke the silence. He had never been someone to talk around the issue for too long. He was more of the just-come-right-and-say-it type.

And if his hearing didn’t fail him he heard El let out a relieved sigh.

“We’re not in love anymore. You’re amazing and gorgeous and funny and beautiful and I love you more than most other people, but I’m not in love with you anymore. And I don’t think you’re in love with me either. And that’s okay. Because it’s okay that we won’t stay together forever and have children together because we can still be family.” He didn’t notice he was crying until he looked at El and saw the tears streaming down her face.

He wasn’t crying because he didn’t want the relationship to end he was crying because this was the end of a chapter in his life. He had been with El for so long, she had always been the constant in his life even when everything was going to hell and he just wanted it all to end she had always been there. He knew that’s why she was crying too.

The moment she wrapped her arms around him and whispered teary “I’m so sorry”s over and over again. “What are you sorry for?” he asked softly.

 “I’m so sorry I wasn’t the one for you. I’m so sorry you weren’t the one for me even though I wanted you to be it so bad. I’m so sorry I fell out of love with you and in love with someone else. I’m so sorry I cheated on you.” She cried.

They were both sobbing in each other arms still while Louis told El all about Harry. Told her to please not hate either of them because they never meant to hurt her. Begged her for forgiveness and she gave it to him. Without even thinking about it.

“L, I’m not a hypocrite, so of course I forgive you.” She said laughing through the tears.

“I forgive you, too by the way. “ Louis added because he hadn’t said it yet.

He couldn’t believe the luck he had to have such a perfect best friend/now-ex-girlfriend.

“I love you” they both blurted out at the same time. Then they broke out into laughter. Laughing and crying they stayed on the sofa for hours reliving their best and worst moments. Telling each other all about their cheating and their thoughts they had never told each other. Louis was so glad he could talk to someone about all the guilt of hurting both El and Harry.

They only notice how much time had passed when it was already getting bright outside again.  But they didn’t want to go to sleep yet. So they just stayed. Talking more. Their tears had dried hours ago but their laughter didn’t die down. And yeah maybe one or the other tear was shed a few times in a few stories again, but it was good.

At nine in the morning Harry came in and immediately froze when he saw the two of them together on the sofa laughing. He turned to walk back out again but both El and Harry called after him.

“We broke up, Haz.” Louis grinned at Harry. “It’s all good now. No more secrets. No more lies, remember?”

Harry beamed right back at him. He literally swept Louis of his feet and held him tight. When they pulled away from each other they looked directly in the face of a grinning Eleanor.

“How did I never see this? You two are perfect for each other! I mean, look at that height difference, it’s just right.” She laughed. Louis punched her in the arm.

Then he walked over to the table, sat down and called out, “Somebody make me breakfast!”

El patted Harry’s back with the words: “He’s your boyfriend now.” and disappeared into the bedroom.

Harry beamed even more at that.

“What, you’re this excited to make me breakfast, Curly? If I had known that… well, that changes everything.” Louis joked. Harry laughed at his ridiculousness and shook his head.

“Boyfriend.” he repeated Eleanor’s words, still beaming. Louis grinned right back. Then he pulled Harry who had walked over to him down to kiss him.

“I like that. Boyfriend.” He let the words melt on his tongue. It felt good. It felt great.

Maybe, just maybe he could forgive himself for what he put Harry through some day. But even if not that wouldn’t stop him from being with Harry anymore. I didn’t matter if he thought he deserved Harry, as long as harry thought he was worth his attention Louis would take it.

They spent the breakfast that Harry made especially for Louis talking and feeding each other. It was ridiculously cheesy and they both loved it. After Louis told Harry all about his conversation with El and her affair with Max (“I called it!” He yelled excited. Harry rolled his eyes).

It was good. Louis was happy. Harry was happy. Eleanor had snuck out to meet her not-so-secret-boyfriend. She was happy, too. So yeah, it was really good.


End file.
